My partner and I decided to try tantra after we were looking for something to bring us closer together.  I had known people who had tried tantra, alone and with their partners or other people. I always felt drawn to an experience like this, especially after reading The Art of Sexual Magic: Cultivating Sexual Energy to Transform Your Life.  I would try to do some rituals for little things like keeping the shitty marketing job I had at the time, or just to practice. I was single at that time and did not know any potential partners that would interested in things like this at all. Now that I am in a relationship, I decided, hey let’s try something out of this book together! We started with some of the basic yoni/vjara massage, but I really felt like getting a teacher would help. We found one right here in Atlanta and booked her. She took us through a three-hour initial tantra for couples session.

What is tantra?

After we arrived at her house. She explained what tantra was to us. It’s a Sanskrit word, so an Indian tradition that involved breathwork that is designed to bring the masculine and feminine energies together. There appear to be many definitions on the internet. I found one at that I liked. “Tantric sex is the ancient key to sexual pleasure and psychic power, attained through a set of rituals,” I honestly was nervous about the entire experience. In this relationship, I am the New Age person for the most part, and my partner mostly comes along for the ride. However, I felt the need to be “good” at it on the first try.

Types of Tantra Activities

Following her introduction. We got into discussing some exercises that day. She mentioned the yoni massage. When I talked about yoni eggs, I mentioned that yoni basically means sacred place, or vagina. Thinking of my vagina in this way has been so helpful for me in my personal life. Yoni massage can be useful to achieve orgasms, but it is not the goal. The goal is to experience pleasure. She was trained in this massage. There is more information about it here.  I don’t go more into it, because we did not do that in this session. In addition, she talked about viagra massage. The vajra is the penis. There are also basic movements that can assist with a basic vjara massage, or you can add in a prostate massage if you want. We did not try any of that. We did breath work the entire time with each other. The tantra mamma (as she liked to be called) guided up through our breath work.

The basics of getting started with tantra

  1. Setting up your sacred space.  She had a ton of crystals, and floor pillows. We had snacks, and things, as well  as lot of candles, and my homemade incense.  I felt very comfortable, and at peace in her space. We were in a rural area of Atlanta, so things were quiet.

2. Get comfortable. I loved that she talked to us. She asked about what we expected from this experience, and if we had any experience. We sat for a long time and just talked. This was great for me. We were mostly dressed comfortably. I forgot my robe, so I had to wear my jeans. That was a no no.

3. We began to build some energy together. We started by looking into each others eyes. She said the right eye is the window into the soul and the left eye was the window into the heart. It was weird at first, but I got more comfortable staring into my partners eyes. He has such gorgeous green and brown eyes. It was very nice to be that intimate with each other for the first time.

4. We then moved into some guided breath work. This is where we finished. We did not do any of the genital massage or sex. We first synced our breath as we continued to look into each other’s eyes, and then we would alternate. He would breath in and I would breathe out to create a circular connection. After the breathing, we simply stayed seated looking into each other’s eyes as we held hands. For me this was still a great experience.

I know there is A LOT more to tantra than this, but this was my experience. I would love to try more in the future. Have you tried tantra, what was your experience?

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